Imperfect Heroes: Insights Into Parenting

Tantrums to Toughness: Patience Tips for Little Ones with Lenora Edwards

DJ Stutz, Lenora Edwards Season 5 Episode 193

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In this episode of Imperfect Heroes, DJ welcomes back speech-language pathologist, Lenora Edwards, for an engaging conversation about teaching kids persistence, resilience, and the joy of trying new things.

DJ and Lenora discuss how fear of failure or discomfort can hold children back, how parents’ own experiences shape their reactions, and why modeling a growth mindset is essential. They share practical strategies for helping kids develop patience, confidence, and a willingness to push through challenges, whether it's learning a new skill, trying a sport, or simply stepping outside their comfort zone.

Listen up for faith-filled, doable tips to swap tantrums for toughness!

𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲? Join my free workshop March 27th, 7 PM—Parent Perspectives: Building Persistence & Patience in Kids. You’ll grab my Patience Playbook too: https://www.imperfectheroes.net/courses/parent-perspectives-workshops

𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗺𝗽𝘀
𝟰:𝟭𝟰  Lenora Edwards and I kick things off chatting about growing kids with big hearts and stick-with-it grit. It’s all about love and a little faith to build that moral compass and persistence—right from the start!
𝟳:𝟯𝟲  Lenora and I get real about nudging our little ones to try something new—maybe a bit scary! We’re cheering them on, but if panic hits, no worries—we’ve got tricks to pivot and keep it fun.
𝟭𝟱:𝟯𝟵  Here’s a mom tip from me: I love setting the stage for new adventures—making them exciting and cool ahead of time. It’s like planting a seed so they’re pumped to jump in!
𝟯𝟭:𝟬𝟬  Lenora and I dive into family mottoes—think of it as your team cheer! It’s a simple way to spark that ‘we’re in this together’ vibe and get the kids fired up to tackle stuff as a crew

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗨𝘀!
𝗗𝗝 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝘁𝘇
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Find DJ’s Books “Roman is Bigger,” “Roman is a Bigger Brother,” and “Oscar’s True Friends” on Amazon, Kindle, Barnes&Noble, and Walmart.

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗟𝗲𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗮 𝗘𝗱𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀
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DJ Stutz  00:14

You're listening to Imperfect Heroes: Insights into Parenting, the perfect podcast for imperfect parents looking to find joy in their experience of raising children in An imperfect world, and I'm your host, DJ Stutz. Welcome everyone, and thank you for choosing to spend the next few minutes here with us at Imperfect Heroes: Insights into Parenting, hooray. And I have my recurring good friend fun guest, LenoraEdwards back with us today, and we're gonna have a wonderful conversation. And before we get started, though, if you're watching on YouTube or Rumble, you'll see in the background, she's got my Roman is Bigger book on her counter. Yay. Thank you. I'm so happy. But I have some news. There are two new books that are out, and they are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Walmart, all that stuff. And one is another Roman book. It's called Roman is a Bigger Brother, and so Roman actually gets a new brother, and he's trying to work through those emotions to see how do I feel about that? Is this a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Is Mommy still going to read stories to me? Is Daddy still going to play? Are they going to love me still, or are they just going to love the new baby? All those questions that little guys have when they come and he's got one friend that says babies are wonderful, he's got another friend that says babies are terrible, and in the end, he finds out that it's a little bit of both. The reality is there, and he's fine with that, and he's fine with that. So it's a fun story. The other book is called Oscar's True Friends, and this is a story about a fish that teaches his other friends that we don't all have to be the same, we don't all have to be looking the same or have the same things, but we all have our own talents, so it's nice to be fast. There's a glass fish that's in the story, and she feels like nobody notices her and she's invisible. But you know, when there's a predator around, it's kind of a good thing to be invisible. And there's a puffer fish that thinks I'm ugly or whatever, but he can save his friends from dolphins, because he can puff out and scare the dolphin away. And so in the end, they learned that it's nice that everyone has their own talents, their own abilities, and then they're able to work through that and cherish who they are and how they can all help each other, because they all have different strengths. So that's just a fun story there, too. So if you're interested, I don't even have my copies yet, so, or else I would show you, but they're out there, and it's called, again, Roman is a Bigger Brother and Oscar's True Friends. And actually, if you just go into those sites and put in DJ Stutz, it'll pull up all my books that are on that site. So you can, 

 

Lenora Edwards  03:15

They're well worth it. 

 

DJ Stutz  03:16

Oh well, yes, so and they're available in both hardcover and paperback, so that makes it fun. And when at the end of the year, when it comes to Teacher Appreciation, I always like getting new books for my classroom library and things that I could read to the kids. So maybe it's a nice gift for a teacher too. All right,  They are award winning. Yes, you are an award winning author, which is super exciting. Which is fun, which is very fun, yeah. So anyway, and actually, Roman is Bigger. They won't make their decision until fall, but it's been nominated by the Idaho Library Association for the book of the year. So,

 

Lenora Edwards  03:55

Oh wonderful. Yeah, it is so extraordinary. You did share that with me a few weeks ago, and I'm still like, ecstatic for you.

 

DJ Stutz  04:02

Yeah, that was really exciting. That was unexpected. I had no idea that anyone had even think put my name in and then I get this notification. So that was pretty cool. All right, let's get started. So you know, this year, we've been talking a lot about how to build the moral development in our children, and one of the things that kind of can lead towards that is their ability to be patient and persistent in dane of a friend, or trying hard things, or all of those things that builds their character and and their morality as well. And so Lenore and I've been talking about this, and just so many times we have kids that they won't even try something new, Oh, it's too hard. I can't do that. I don't want to, instead of really reaching out and expanding their experiences. And then we have parents who are like, Oh, they don't want to. It's okay. They don't want to. And. And so actually, tomorrow, where I live, we've gotten like, a foot of snow in the last week, and every Tuesday I've been going snowshoeing with the second graders. Isn't that cool? 

 

Lenora Edwards  05:12

That is so cool. 

 

DJ Stutz  05:14

Yeah. And so tomorrow we're going on an all day field trip. We're going out to this, I don't know area that our PE teacher has it all worked out, and we're taking the kids snowshoeing and what they're bringing their lunch, and they get to go sledding, and they all these fun experiences. And it was amazing to me that there are some of the parents are like, Oh it's up to, if they don't want to go, they don't have to. And I'm think ing, Wait a minute.  No, you go, go, go, have fun, have a new experience. And now we were talking about how,  Okay, I'm an old fart, and so we all know that. But for me, it would have beennot even a question. This is what you're doing. You're going off you go, you know, like I wouldn't even have thought to say I don't want to. And so how do we build that persistence and excitement patience in trying new things? And I didn't get it right the first time or the second or the third or the fourth time, but I'm going to keep trying. How do we build that in our kids? Lenore, where are you on that? 

 

Lenora Edwards  06:19

I love this topic. It is so so needed. So for those of you who aren't sure I know DJ so wonderfully mentioned. My name. My profession is as a speech language pathologist. So I work with kids in helping them produce better sounds and helping them build their language on a variety of things. And when we're asking our kids to do certain things, yes, it is challenging. And I love what you shared just a moment ago that there would have been no question you you were going. And so I grew up in the in the 80s and the 90s, and same thing, there's no question you're this is what they're doing, and this is where you're headed, at the same time all the other kids were going to and I think we're seeing quite a shift with adults or younger parents, remembering they didn't like to do something and it made them uncomfortable, and they hated it, and now they're saying to their kids, no, it's okay. It's okay. I I know you don't want to go. You don't have to go because they're remembering their own discomfort at the same time, what we're teaching them is things that make you uncomfortable you don't have to participate in, and it's something that we definitely need to dance a very, very fine line. And know, how else can we look at this? What are their perspectives going on here? Because if we don't encourage them to do something, and anytime they don't want to do something, they're going to default to that's uncomfortable. Uncomfortable means bad. Bad means I don't have to do it, because I get to stay over here in my safe zone of which, yes, there is a, again, a fine line of dancing between comfort, right and discomfort, knowing when to push a little bit more and also knowing to say, this kid is definitely at their max right now, we need to pull back and we need to pause and we need to regroup. It's something that I think is built every single day, and it's not category specific. It's really working with where they are in that moment and helping them maneuver beyond the discomfort to achieve something, in this case, going snowshoeing, which is super fun, or even in my case, helping them produce a specific sound, encouraging them to really say, yeah, it's tough. But you know what? We can do tough things. We can do hard things and reframing it constantly for them, right?

 

DJ Stutz  08:35

And in fact, and I was sharing with you earlier, when I was teaching kindergarten up on my wall, and you know those vinyl letters, you can put sayings on the wall. So I have these in the vinyl letters up on my wall, and it said, we are kind, we are smart, and we do hard things. And we said that every day, every day, we got that in. And so sometimes when I'd see a kid that, Oh, it's too hard, I don't know it's too hard. And we'd be like, Oh, yes, it is hard. Isn't that exciting? Yeah, because we do hard things, and we would feed into that kind of and very much okay, that it's hard. In fact, it's great that it's hard. And then they would get it, and we'd be like, you did it and it was a hard thing, but you got it. And now is it hard anymore? And then we'd start feeding into that, but you're right on there is a fine line. So just a story my family, even though I grew up in Los Angeles, my family loved to ski, and every year we would take a week and go up to Mammoth Mountain. It's in California, Central California, kind of and amazing skiing there, but there was a run called the cornice, and my dad always wanted me to go with him down the corners, and I never did, but I was scared to death of it. And we went up camping, actually. So one summer, we went at camping, and. You'd have to take a gondola to get up to the top of the corners, but in the summer, they run the gondola and you can hike down. Okay, we'll do that. So we go up and we're ready to hike down. And dad showed me where. Now, when you ski the corners, this is where you go off. And I'm, it's a cliff.  It did not help my fear any at all. I was like, you jump all of that with your skis. He goes snow all on. And I'm like, this is a cliff. Now, my brothers went with my dad. I never did, though, but my dad was able to realize that, oh, okay, DJ, isn't there. This isn't where she's gonna be. And like he would ask and stuff did. He didn't force me. He didn't push me because there was an honest to goodness fear that was in me, yeah, over that. And so finding that line of when to not push, you know, and I'm really grateful. I still have no desire to go down the corners, but, but I'm so glad that my dad didn't push me into doing something that I was so afraid of, and yet I still skied. We did all kinds of things. The number nine lift was always my favorite. So I think it's knowing your child well enough and pushing them a little bit, you know, pushing them, but then noticing when that, I don't know, it's almost like a a panic or a thing that you know your child well enough to say, Okay, let's back off for this a little bit and maybe build some other skills that might get them there. And I built my skiing skills, you know. And I would do diamond runs, just not the cornice. Oh, yeah. And so I think understanding that maybe, if they're not ready now, and you see that Gideon, that doesn't mean we back away and we don't have our kids do it, it means that maybe we need to build some other foundational skills to prepare them to do those harder things.

 

Lenora Edwards  11:57

I could not agree more with you, and I was actually writing something down. That's why I was moving to grab a pen and paper. I think a lot of the time. It also goes back to us as adults. Are we growth minded or are we fixed minded? And when we can be growth minded, we can also say, All right, I do want to encourage my child to try certain things, and absolutely your dad being in tune with you and noticing this isn't one that I'm going to push successfully on. I might be able to push and she might have a very bad experience, but instead of going down that completely, had you had the same response to putting on skis, he might have said, okay, but we're still going to try putting them on and helping them, quite literally, go hurdle steps or one step at a time, and a lot of the time kids, it's new to them, and their nervous system is quite literally going and it's really scared when we as the adults can come in and say, It's okay. I got you. I'm right here. There's no shame, there's no judgment, I'm listening. We can do this. We totally can do this, and it might feel over the top for you as a parent or a guardian, if you're not used to offering that much encouragement at the same time, that individual might need that much encouragement and that much reassurance that it's okay. We can do hard things. We can put our skis on. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. And as you do that, even in the tone that I'm sharing right now, you can tell that it's a safe tone. It's a quite literally warm, embracing tone, and it's steady and it's firm, and it's also safe and it's inviting. That says it's okay if we mess up, that's great. We're learning. That's a really good thing. Thank goodness that we learn. Thank goodness we can grow, and we can still learn how to do new things, and especially as a clinician. So for example, teaching the R sound can be very frustrating for children if they can't do it. So instead of saying red, they might say wed or instead of saying grab, they might say grab, and they're rounding in into a w. So teaching them how to do this a lot of the time, I'm getting seven, eight and nine year olds that are already frustrated. They've already been through speech at five and six, and it's not clicking. And I keep encouraging them saying, we can do hard things. Let's be super ridiculous that we're gonna go over the top, we're gonna use this really ridiculous face and using the language where they're at a seven and eight. They might still be using the word silly. They might use the word ridiculous at this point. But I meet them where they're at and I teach them we can still do hard things. And I'll say, do you remember? And I don't know if you know, but did mommy or daddy ever show you the video of you walking for the first time? Do you know how hard that was? I'm like, well, I already can do it. And I said, I know, but at one point you couldn't. Or even now, if they're riding a two wheeler, at one point you couldn't. You were on four wheels, or you were on, you were doing a big wheel type thing where they had three wheels or something. And. Said, you can do hard things, and I'll even bring them back. Do you remember the first time that maybe you slept alone in your room and then you realized that you were okay, bringing them back and helping them remember moments in their life where things were tough, where things were hard, where things were challenging, where they might have been scared and they survived and they were okay, can be extraordinarily powerful because it's them. It's not saying, Oh, well, look what I can do that you didn't know I could or could not do. They were already looking at me as an adult, going, you could do everything. When I show them things that they couldn't do, and it's them, it makes a huge difference in their shift. And really being able to say, Oh, well, math was hard, but now look, we can do two plus two, and look how many we got. How many is this? And they'll be, oh, it's four. At one point, you didn't know that, and helping them really understand what they do know. Now, at one point they didn't know and at one point it was hard, they just don't remember it right.

 

DJ Stutz  15:59

And I think too, we want our kids to be excited to try new things as well. And so I think the way that we set it up even ahead of time, before we ever ask them to do it. How are we setting this up, that this is something cool, or I love doing that, or whatever, I know I'll go back to skiing, but for me, that was the time that I got to spend with my dad. And I didn't get to spend a lot of time with my dad, because he had a big commute. He was a professor at UCLA, and he had a decent commute to get in. It was Los Angeles, after all, and he loved his work, and so he would be up late, like doing experiments and working with students and all this kind of stuff. But he loved hiking and skiing, those were his outdoor loves. And so we were excited when we got to be eight years old. Is when dad would take us when you're eight, and that so that was building up. I was the oldest, but like in my younger brothers, oh, when you're eight, DJ gets to go skiing, and then DJ and Spence are going skiing, and DJ Don and Spence, they're going skiing, you know, and it would be built up so that it was something that they really were looking forward to, even though it may have been a little scary at first, they were anxious to jump in because of the way it had been presented, sometimes for even years, before The opportunity set its place. And so I see sometimes, like little kids, first day of kindergarten, you're always gonna have crying kids, it's just how it is. Or preschool, first day of preschool, you can have grandkids. That's just how it is. But was interesting to me to see the difference in parents who had kids that just walked in and were like, yeah, get me in there. You know, having Candace, my oldest, I was ready to cry. I cried all the way home, but she was like, Bye, Mom. I'm in kindergarten now, and she was so excited. And I'm like, Honey, we gotta wait for your teacher to come out, see where you're gonna line up. I know what I'm doing. You know, she was just so confident. But we've really talked a lot about how exciting it was going to be for school, and this is going to be great, and you're going to have so much fun and all those things. And so if you present it, and when I'd see kids who walked in with confidence, the parents are like, yeah, see it. We'll be back when it's over. And they walk off, and then there's the other parents were like, oh, and just falling apart, and they're there with the kid, and the kids screaming and like, in flight or flight, fight or flight mode. But it's interesting to see how the parent kind of was reacting to that as well. But for sure, the kids were like, Yeah, you got this? I'll catch you later. And the kids were fine,

 

Lenora Edwards  18:37

Yeah, so yeah. And a lot of the time it really does go back to the parents, as in the parents and the guardians. And I want, don't want people to think that as a blame or as a you have even more responsibility than you thought. It's just simply that this is what they're observing. You're around them. They're around you the most. So really they're picking up on tons, because you are shaping everything in that child's perception and in that child's environment. So if you're somebody who goes, No, I don't eat vegetables. No, I don't eat vegetables. No, veget ables are gross. And then you encourage your child eating vegetables. It can be a little bit harder, because you now model it. You model. it 

 

DJ Stutz  19:23

I hated vegetables.  My kids never had any broccoli. They never had to eat brussels sprouts, yeah, but we had carrots and corn and peas and other things.

 

Lenora Edwards  19:32

Too funny, but yeah. So I often remind people, children come into the world with a completely blank slate. They do not know the difference between a doorknob, a spoon, a shoe, a hat, they have no clue, and the parents and the guardians not to add any pressure, but you quite literally teach them everything in their perception, in their environment, and encouraging them things that I often talk about with my clients, parents, you. Is continuing to frame things in a positive light. And it's not saying that there aren't challenging things. It's simply finishing it with a smiley face or finishing it with an exclamation point. So, yeah, this is tough. Not this is the worst thing ever. I'm not doing it. Yeah, this is tough. But you know what? I'm gonna be okay. I'll figure it out. I can usually come up with a solution and literally helping them see that you problem solve and that problems are natural. They're good things. And if we go The problem with this is and the solution is helping them understand that they can solve problems, that they can do things. And you pointing out, oh, man, I lost my keys. What am I going to do? You don't fall on the ground and have a temper tantrum and go, Oh, I lost my keys. I better go find them, because you know that already this is easy for you. It's very much a part of it. Your child doesn't know that. So when you have a problem such as, Oh, I forgot to do the laundry. Now I have dirty clothes. Now I know how to solve my problem. I'm going to run the washing machine, helping them understand problems always come with solutions, and they can absolutely be the creator of those solutions. And you can even ask them, oh, well, gee, what do you think we should do? Oh, we have nothing to eat for dinner. What should we do? You as the adult, know, oh, I'm gonna go get some food. Your child might not know that, and you ask them, What should we do? And see what they come up with? Right? It's a great way to say, here's our problem. How do we solve it?

 

DJ Stutz  21:28

Right. You brought up a point, and I thought, I want to go back to that too. So we get some kids, like you've seen some, that are just bolting out there and let's rock, right? And other kids are more timid, and you can have both kids in the same family,

 

Lenora Edwards  21:41

Oh, for sure. You must like, yeah, right, right,

 

DJ Stutz  21:45

Right, right. And so your approach to those kids are going to be different. In fact, the bold kids, you might be like, Please don't kill yourself. Get down.  Those are my boys.  Is there a way to injure myself. Let me try climb this tree as high as you can, which I'm all for climbing trees. And then you have other kids that are just like almost afraid of their own shadow, in a way, you know. And so one kid you might be pulling back, please don't jump off that two story building.Don't jump off the balcony into the pool. That would be bad. Yeah, that was an issue. And then Tommy and Chucky

 

Lenora Edwards  22:22

And then Tommy and Chucky from Rugrats.

 

DJ Stutz  22:24

Yes!

 

Lenora Edwards  22:26

Here you go. 

 

DJ Stutz  22:26

Exactly, exactly. And so making sure that as we're looking at our approach on how we get our children to look at challenges, you really do want to be specific to that personality and demeanor of that child, very much so. Yeah.  And then another thing that I thought maybe we could discuss for a second was sometimes you get a child, they'll try something and it didn't go quite right the first time. So it's like, I've tried it, I'm dead. And so we're talking about that persistence piece too, in making it so I've had another guy. I've had him on the show twice through the years. I really like him. His name is Jeff Nelligan, and he does parenting, and he's really good for boys, parenting boys. So his youngest son, well, all his boys played lacrosse and rugby.  Tough sports, right? Yeah. And he had one of his sons, and I think it was the youngest, but he was determined to be able to be really accurate with it lacrosse. And so they were living in a brick house, and there was one brick out on the side of the garage was just a little different color than the other bricks. You know, you could kind of identify it. And that son on his own. No one ever told him to do it, but he would go out every day, and he had to hit that brick 100 times with his ball with, you know, using the lacrosse stick and try and hit that. And he did that every day for years. Like that was kind of one of his things. And he was super accurate with lacrosse, and was scoring all kinds of goals and doing all of this. And he talked to his son about that, and in fact, they one time they drove by the House they'd moved out, moved on. They were in town, they drove by the house, and his son said, look, that brick still there. And he was telling his dad about how he used that brick. So even though he wasn't as successful when he was younger, he knew what he wanted to be, and so this was something he did to increase his opportunities for success and to excel in what he want to do. This kid, his youngest, he went on to he was went to West Point, and he was the captain of the rugby team at West Point when it won the national championship for rugby. So that just determined, you know, super determined kids. How do we get our kids to go? I mean, that's really like, whoa. You know, determination. Or some kids, they'll try it once. It's like, okay, it didn't work out. I don't want to try it again. I. Yeah, get them to keep with that persistence piece to... 

 

Lenora Edwards  25:04

Yeah, 

 

DJ Stutz  25:04

keep trying. Okay, it didn't work at this time.

 

Lenora Edwards  25:06

That's such a beautiful question. And there's so many different approaches that people like to encourage. And I think the the biggest thing that I can tell is that it is a lot of patience on the part of the parent, as in a lot of patients in reframing, especially for kids who are like, Nope, I'm not gonna do it. Okay. Well, tell me a little bit more about that. How else can I help you? How else can I support you, depending on what age? So you want to change your language as you're asking them, but really inquiring and being curious as to what their interests are, and usually, especially when we start to get into the 9, 10, 11, 12, range. Kids now have their interests, and trying to introduce them to something new can be tricky, not impossible. But if they don't seem like they're interested in anything, ask them. Ask them, tell you a story. What are the books that they're they're looking at they might not be reading. What are the game shows or the games that they're watching? Is it just video games? And what else? For example, I see a lot of third graders, and they Oh, what's new? Nothing would you do over last week? Nothing. I'll say, Oh, well, you know what? What are some of your favorite things? And the first thing that I do when I meet them is I ask them tons and tons of questions, what are your favorite foods? What are your favorite things to do when you go outside? And if they can't answer the open ended ones, I'll give them pictures or I'll ask for more details. So that way, when I go to have conversations with them, I know what lights them up. If I have a kid who really loves video games, there's no way he's going to talk to me about baseball. If I have a kid who really likes Spongebob, there's no way that they're going to talk to me about Pokemon, because they don't match. So I just get really curious when it comes to building that resiliency. And I love that. If that was his goal, that he really just enjoyed practicing, he enjoyed playing, build on that and encourage them to play and to be curious. So hey, let's go outside and hit the ball for a little bit. If they're not in the mood to practice, make it play when we can, quite literally, shift the language, shift the word that we're choosing. We offer different mental pictures to them, different insights. And that can be really helpful. And rather than saying, What do you want to do with your life, what else would you like to do? What are some fun things that you're looking forward to? Because we can get really in this tunnel vision, especially, I know for sure in the 90s, it was, what do you want to be when you grow up? That was the only question. And the the the my checklist growing up was graduate high school, go to college, get a degree, get a job. That was the checklist. Now it's 2025, it's a completely different world, and it's literally, what do you want to do for the next few years? And what a huge invitation of being open and curious, and being able to say, I want to try different things. So if they practice rugby and they're playing lacrosse, cool, anything else you want to also play with, anything else you also want to explore. You might want to bake, you might want to do woodwork, whatever it is, just to continue to encourage that curiosity, because you never know where else it might lead, right, right?

 

DJ Stutz  28:23

Right.  Right!  And it may be art, it may be BMX bicycle racing, you know, whatever it can be, all kinds of different things, and giving them those opportunities. And I think too watching your kids, so even your more timid kids watch and see. What are they poking their interests in, or whatever. And even though they're quiet about it, an observant parent can see that, and then that's what you can kind of build on, and you can get them to come out of their shell a little bit, or whatever. I know some very timid people who are amazing singers and DJ but yet they'll go up and sing, and then they want to hide back into the Yep. But yet, singing is the thing that brings them out, right? And so, you know, noticing what that is. And then I think, too, some kids will react to competition, beating themselves, whatever we did this in so much time. Oh, can we beat that time? You know, kind of a thing where or we got, oh, you got three this time. You could do four, whatever it is. But getting them to know that trying again means an improvement, or whatever, and then once you can make that fun in their way so that they're reacting to it. And the reality is, is sometimes we got to do stuff we don't want to do. The lawn needs to be mowed. You got to do laundry. Part of life, too. It's just part of life, yeah, and too. When they're really little, I have this cute little video of one of my grandsons. He's like, three years old. They were. Visiting, and I was down sorting my laundry, and I had him helping me, because I had, I have whites, colors, darks and towels, I'd sort them. And he loved he was so excited to help me with the laundry.  We're sorting this, and it's like, yea!

 

Lenora Edwards  30:16

Yeah.

 

DJ Stutz  30:18

He put things into the washing machine for me, and he thought he was so cool and wonderful when they're little and they're anxious to be a part of you inside, use it. Oh yeah, and then have some fun with that. But yeah, it's a it's an exciting thing. It's you can be a little challenging, I think, to meet that. But you know what, moms and dads, we do hard things. We do do hard things. Even as parents, we do hard things, and so it's okay if our kid doesn't want to this or that. Oh, it's a challenge. I'm up to it, and now you can find a way to do it in a way that's building your relationship.

 

Lenora Edwards  31:00

Yeah. Very much so. Do you remember Bob the Builder? Yes, I love I didn't grow up with him. I remember some of the kids that I would babysit for had him. But I do remember the jingle or the key phrase, can we build it? Yes, we can. And that's such a great thing. Can we do it? Yes, we can take out the word build. Can we do it? Yes, we can. Yep, make that the family motto, yeah,

 

DJ Stutz  31:26

Yeah. Well, and you know me and family mottos, I think, uh, having a family motto is a great way to ...

 

Lenora Edwards  31:32

Yeah,

 

DJ Stutz  31:33

gonna build that team spirit and stuff. So we actually did a family motto. My family it was be good. Have fun. Serve the Lord. I love that. That's beautiful. That was it. And two, it's okay if kids understand this is what we do, and they may not do that as an adult in their life, but this is part of what we do here. So I remember I was laughing my oldest daughter. She's not a churchy person. That's not her bag, but we always went, and she told me as an adult, and she said, Mom, I never really wanted to go to church. I'm like, You never said anything, you know? And she said, No, because that was just what we did. We did. Well, I'm not feeling bad about that, but yeah, but it was just what we did. And No, and I don't, I mean, we never, like, Oh, you gotta go to church, but it was just what we did. And, yeah, she, you know, as an adult, took a different path, and that's her life. But it's interesting looking back on, you know, sometimes maybe there are things that are just what we did. L ike, if I want to spend time with my dad, I was gonna go hiking and skiing.

 

Lenora Edwards  32:40

Yeah, 

 

DJ Stutz  32:41

That's what we did, 

 

Lenora Edwards  32:42

that's how you spend time with Dad, for sure.

 

DJ Stutz  32:44

That's how you spend time with Dad, yeah. And so look at your I think it's a nice challenge to look at your own family as a parent, but to say, what are some of the things that are just what we do, this is what we do. And whether it's time outside or football or baseball or whatever it is that you just kind of do as a family and the kids go along with it. It's a funny thing how that happens

 

Lenora Edwards  33:09

Very much so.  Lots of modeling, lots of teaching, lots of growing, lots of teaching.

 

DJ Stutz  33:13

Lot's teaching,, lots of growing. Yep. Okay, so I guess we're coming down to our time. I know it always goes fast when it's with you. It does. It flies by with you. It does. I love our conversation. I know me too. Anyway, yeah, everyone, if you want to learn more about Lenora and what she offers, we're going to have all of that in the show notes. But Lenora, do you want to share a little bit about anything you've got coming up or or what you've got going on.

 

Lenora Edwards  33:44

The things that I have going on is right now, I work with Better Speech. And Better Speech is an online speech therapy company, so if you have questions about your child's development of language or their articulation, feel free to reach out to us and simply visit better speech com for more information.

 

DJ Stutz  34:00

Awesome and do it. She's amazing. You can just tell by her demeanor, like you know kids are going to be just drawn to her and want to do that so. And I know that sometimes school districts, it depends on where you are. They may have someone good that's helping, or they may not in that realm, but you as a parent, you're not limited to what the school offers to help you with your child's whatever it is, whether it's speech or reading, you know, whatever, that there are other places that you can go outside of school to maybe get a little deeper and further. I have a couple of kids that I actually tutor. Mostly I just do with my parent coaching, but I've got a couple of little kids. They're both in third grade, and they're neurodivergent, and they're struggling with some things, and so I'm helping them with their growth and progress. And so there's people out there to help you beyond can offer very much anyway. Yay, yay. Well, Lenora, I won't ask you the same question because. I've asked it to you so many times, but we love what you do, and we will have you back soon. So everyone keep an eye out for Lenora and till next week, let's find joy in parenting.  See you guys, thank you so much for sticking around to the end of today's episode of imperfect heroes. Parenting is truly one of the most rewarding journeys we can take. But let's face it, it can be incredibly challenging, and sometimes we make it harder on ourselves than it needs to be. The good news is that with a little bit of work up front, there are practical steps you can take to bring more peace and joy into your family life. I am passionate to share these strategies and insights with you. If you're ready to step on the path to joyful, effective parenting, I invite you to schedule a family checkup. Just click on the calendar link in the show notes below. Schedule a time that works perfectly for you, and let's work together to create a more harmonious and happy environment, and remember, every small step that you take today makes a big difference. So thank you again for joining us, and until next time, let's find joy in parenting.


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